Faith + Doubt

Sunday Morning Light

Looking around at the faces gathered in a sanctuary on a Sunday morning, walking through the halls of school, or gathered in the break room at the office, one really has no idea what is going on behind the freshly scrubbed faces and neatly pressed clothing. I learned that this weekend.

Today the youth I work with up in hard hittin' New Britain - the former hardware capital of the world - led their congregation in worship. Playing the sax, ushing, greeting, and assisting in every possible way, they did a fantastic job. It was in their work crafting the sermon/message however that I was truly amazed. 

Inspired by the lesson today, 'Doubting Thomas,' the youth have been wrestling with the fundamentals of faith for the past several weeks. What does it mean to believe? to doubt? to question? to poke? to prod? to wonder? to follow? Seeking answers, they interviewed adults in the congregation and asked them to talk. They listened. They learned. And they got it all on video. You see, rather than give a preachy-sermon from the pulpit they decided it would be best to make a movie about what they learned. 

While I cut, clipped, and edited it all together the conversations the kids got on tape were incredible. There was the mother whose faith was strengthened by her children talking about finding out her son had a brain tumor. The man who lost faith when his father was diagnosed with several cancers. The woman who battled addictions and found that the 'higher power' in twelve-step programs stirred up the dormant faith instilled in her at baptism. The man who refused to tell God how big his troubles were and instead chose to tell his troubles how big his God is - all as his wife, the one who brought him into the church, lays in a long-term convalescing home.

It was a holy moment, standing in there in the midst of the gathered congregation this morning, as these normally stoic, proper, New England Lutherans listened to the stories of their peers. They sat there in rapt attention . . . you could literally hear a pin drop. There was an electricity in the air as they slowly began to see each other - full of faith and doubt, hope and fear, joy and sorrow - in a new and honest light. 

Somehow the youth helped the older members of the church begin to talk and to share with one another. For a few moments at least, barriers and guards were let down. For a congregation dealing with issues of identity and wrestling with its future, this was a profound moment. My hope and my prayer is that what happened here this morning will continue to roll on. If nothing else, I'm humbled and honored to have been a part of it.

Now it is time to rest.